Hunger
by Bubblegum Rock Princess
Summary: Blaine has a secret. A bit of summer angst. WARNING: eating disorders
1. Chapter 1

He hadn't eaten in two days. That was pretty normal for him, as he never ate unless his parents were there or he was at school. And it was summer now, so he often went days without food. But this time it was different. This time he was surrounded by people—no, he was surrounded by his _friends_. Kurt was there by his side. He felt more comfortable than he had in months. And there was food everywhere. Chips and pop and candy and cake. He hadn't expected any of this. But he was so, _so_ grateful that they had all cared enough to throw him a surprise party.

So when he took the first slice of cake, he didn't feel guilty. It was his birthday. He was allowed to have a slice of cake. When he was finished, he picked up another. And then he couldn't stop himself. He just kept eating, and eating. He hadn't even noticed Kurt was no longer by his side until he reappeared.

"Blaine, you're going to make yourself sick with all that food."

That was when the guilt hit him.

He and Kurt were still so new. They had only _just _seen each other shirtless. What if he got fat? Would Kurt still want him? That hadn't been a concern before. The way he ate used to just be about having control in one part of his life. Not that he hadn't ever thought of it this way; he liked the way not eating made his body look. He was short, and every pound weighed more heavily on his small figure. And if he wanted a boyfriend—wanted to keep his boyfriend in this case—he had to look his best. And he liked feeling hungry. Feeling hungry made him feel less lonely; less hurt about the fact that his parents hadn't bothered to call, hadn't bothered to come home.

So now he was poised over the toilet, just like he always was after slipups like this. He breathed heavily from the effort of puking his guts out. It had been easier this time, probably due to the magnitude of his mistake. He had been feeling sick since he had started in on the chips, but at the time it had felt too good, _indulging_ like that, felt too good to notice the pains in his stomach. The only way this time really differed from the others was that this time he was at Kurt's. Instead of his bathroom at home, or the ensuite bath in his dorm room at Dalton, he was crouched on the cold tile of the Hudmel's first floor lavatory. The door opened and closed, and suddenly he felt a warm body embracing him. Kurt. He dabbed his face with a wet cloth and whispered in his ear:

_Everything's alright honey. I sent everyone home. Dad said you can stay here tonight. I love you._

And then everything seemed okay. There had been no real damage done. Kurt hadn't figured anything out and he hadn't been mad. Everything would go back to normal.

Except it didn't. Blaine found himself overeating more and more. Kurt made him too comfortable, but also too insecure. He was dating the most gorgeous boy he had ever seen, he needed to be as perfect as he could. So after every binge, he purged, but then he started to get reckless.

It was after dinner at Kurt's. He had eaten his fill, which was quite a bit, considering he had gone the last three days without food. It wasn't seen as odd though, even he didn't eat as much as Finn. Burt and Carole just thought he was another ravenous teenage boy. When he excused himself, he didn't hear Kurt follow. He didn't close the door properly.

"Blaine, are you okay? I heard—"

A look of realization made its way onto Kurt's beautiful face.

"At your party—?"

Blaine nodded. He wasn't sure how to feel. He knew he should feel ashamed, and he did feel a bit embarrassed, but not about what he did. Blaine was embarrassed about being caught.

"I don't know why you're doing this, but you don't have to. If this is about me, about us—"

Blaine walked right by Kurt, out of the bathroom and out of the house. He didn't talk to him for a week. His phone was filled with text messages about needing to talk and countless others he hadn't bothered to read. But there was one he kept open quite often. It simply read _I still love you._

But he didn't need Kurt. Kurt would make him eat. And Blaine needed his hunger. He didn't know what to do without it. He didn't know how to cope without it.

It was on the eighth day that Kurt came to his house. He didn't bring food with him, or a doctor, or anything at all. The moment Blaine opened the door he ran to him and kissed him harder than ever. And as they migrated to the living room couch, Blaine felt a new kind of hunger.

Maybe, just maybe, this new hunger could replace the old one.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, so I planned on leaving it at one chapter, but then I got an idea. I'm not sure if there will be more or not, I've never really done a chaptered fic before. But I hope you like it!**

**Thanks to the people who favourited and reviewed!**

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><p>"I've had an eating disorder for four years."<p>

Blaine could pinpoint the exact moment it—his anorexia, Kurt had convinced him to use the word, said he was downplaying how serious things were—started. It had been when his mom got that promotion. He was used to her being around. He was used to sitting across the table from her at dinner. His dad was already away a lot, so now he was alone all the time. He was old enough, they said, to be on his own.

The first time it had been a mistake. He had honestly intended on eating, but then he got distracted by homework. The work wasn't too hard at his school, but he really wanted to get good enough marks to go to an Ivy League college someday. It was nine o'clock when he finished. It was ten thirty when he realized he had forgotten to eat anything all day. He was about to go downstairs to make himself something when he realized he liked it. He liked the hunger. It made him feel less alone.

He knew he wouldn't be able to keep it up when his parents were there, so he just restricted himself to the times when they were both gone. That was when he needed it anyway, when he was lonely. He didn't really have many friends, he couldn't. He was too much of an open book. They'd figure him out, and then instead of ignoring him, everyone would hate him. They would hate him for being different.

So when his parents were gone, he didn't have any friends over. And that was why he needed his new friend so badly. He knew it was weird, to regard hunger as a friend, but it was the only thing keeping him from the dangerous thoughts he knew he had the potential to have.

He knew when the bulimia started too. It was after he started at Dalton, shortly after he joined the school's show choir. People actually included him. They wanted him around. He wasn't sure if it was just for his voice, so he was cautious, but at least they didn't hate him for being gay. The Warblers liked to eat. That was an understatement really; they were a bunch of teenage boys with bottomless pits for stomachs.

After victories, they would go out to celebrate. And they all made him feel so comfortable, he couldn't help but eat. And his mother had left the previous morning, so it had been about a day and a half since his last meal. He ate like a pig. He couldn't help it. It wasn't his fault his team members had chosen a buffet.

When he got back to his dorm that night, he threw up. And as the acid stung the back of his throat, he realized how much better he felt. The food had made him feel so, so guilty, and now his conscience was clear. He filled the cup on the counter with water and went back to his desk with a smile on his face.

He tried his best to just stick with the hunger, he knew that throwing up was bad for his voice, but he slipped up fairly often. Still, he was glad to have a way to fix his mistakes; at least the food related ones.

But then Kurt came along, and he had to be more careful. Kurt paid more attention than any of the Warblers had. Blaine was kind of glad that he didn't see him that often, because he knew that if he was around too much, he would figure things out. He let himself drink coffee when they went to the Lima Bean. He made sure all their other outings either didn't involve food or were when his parents were home.

Then Kurt came to Dalton. Blaine was happy he was safe, and he was happy that he was around more, but he was even happier when he found out they didn't have lunch together. Blaine always skipped lunch when he wasn't eating; he would go to the library and study. He couldn't have done that anymore if Kurt was there.

Blaine's therapist sat there in shock. He guessed that she hadn't expected the session to start this way. He'd been seeing her since the Sadie Hawkins incident, as he referred to it in his head. They usually just talked about school or the Warblers, sometimes about his relationship with his parents and lately a lot about Kurt. She probably though she knew everything there was to know about him. Now she did.

"And what brought this on?"

Blaine was confused.

"I told you everything."

"I mean, what brought on this confession, after all this time?"

"My boyfriend."

"Kurt?"

He smiled when she said the name.

"Yeah, he found me throwing up in his bathroom."

That had been two weeks ago. One week ago Kurt had showed up on his doorstep. Then he kissed Blaine harder than ever. They made out for a while and then, without being asked, Blaine made them dinner. He had eaten every meal since, despite the fact that neither of his parents had been home the entire time.

"He said I should tell you."

"That was a good idea. Are you telling me because you want help? Because I might have to refer—"

"Please don't. I know I can do this. I just have to remember that I'm not alone anymore."

He didn't tell her about his 'replacement hunger'. Or that it was significantly more effective than anything he had ever learned in therapy. He knew that she would have so many more questions for him, and he wasn't sure if he was ready, but he would try, for Kurt. He was beginning to think he could do anything as long as he did it for Kurt.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So this chapter is a bit longer than those preceding it, and I considered splitting it into two to make the chapter lengths more consistent, but I decided against it.**

**I also didn't use dialogue tags in this chapter, despite the fact that there is a considerably larger amount of speaking. Originally, this was only meant to be one chapter, so it was just a matter of style, but now that it's longer, should I go back through and change it? Let me know what you think.**

**Thanks to everyone who reads this, and special thanks to Gina, for putting up with a few rather odd questions while I was writing this, and Steph.**

**None of this belongs to me, in case you were under the impression it did.**

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><p>He had slipped up again, but now slipping up didn't mean eating, it meant not eating. He had promised his therapist, himself, and most importantly his boyfriend that he would try to get better, and so this time the guilt was even worse than what it used to take to make him throw up. Once again, he could pinpoint when it started. It wasn't even because his parents were away. In fact, they had been home a lot since he made the decision to transfer to McKinley. They had only agreed to let him transfer because his therapist recommended it. She thought that having Kurt around more would help. He was grateful, but it was probably the reason he did it.<p>

The first day of school he went to get dressed and his pants didn't fit. And not just any pants, but the pants he wore when he and Kurt said their 'I love you's. Would Kurt love him if he didn't fit into the pants? In retrospect, he knew it was ridiculous, but at the time, he was terrified. So when he threw up then, it was out of fear and not a desire to rid his body of the multitude of calories he had consumed at breakfast. After that listened to "Teenage Dream" a few times to calm himself down and then changed into some looser pants.

He didn't have time to pack his own lunch. Originally, not eating had just been to help with the loneliness and abandonment, but as more motivations presented themselves, he had picked up quite a few more common anorexic habits, like the counting of calories. His therapist let him do it for now; she said he needed control and that it was a step up from not eating at all. Not having his own lunch meant being under Kurt's scrutiny.

Since his father's heart attack, Kurt had become a health expert. That's why every day his meals contained all four food groups as well as the kept within the limits of his allowed calories. In the cafeteria he would be made to compromise this. Blaine would be at the mercy of the day's specials. But he would deal with that later. For now he needed to frantically brush his teeth so that Kurt wouldn't taste this morning's indiscretion in their morning kiss.

He had just finished when he heard the familiar roar of the Navigator's engine in his driveway. When he reached it moments later, Kurt held the door open and helped him in. He had been treating him a little bit differently since he found out; more delicately. He didn't mind too much though. The reversal of roles was probably good for Kurt, especially after last year. He had spent so much time being protected; maybe it should be his chance to protect someone else.

"Mmm, minty."

"You're in a good mood."

"Well I get to spend all day with my boyfriend, now don't I?"

Kurt talked constantly on the way to school. He told Blaine everything there was to know about William McKinley High School. Most of it he already knew, but he listened anyway so his mind wouldn't stray back to this morning's events. It wasn't long before they arrived at the school. Blaine got his schedule from the office and Kurt showed him to his locker, which were luckily quite close. They didn't have any classes together, so they wouldn't see each other until glee club, but they parted ways with a simple squeeze of their hands, not wanting to start trouble by making out in the hallways. After Dalton, McKinley was nothing. He quickly realized that none of his classes would require much work or for him to pay much attention. The latter was rather distressing, as he constantly needed something to focus on nowadays. He distracted himself from his more negative thoughts with those of his impending audition. He had chosen another Katy Perry song: ET. He had considered going with the album version, but after a discussion about modern hip hop and rap artists and how they compared with their historic counterparts with Artie a few days earlier, he had decided to ask for help so that he could do the radio version. The bell rang and he picked up his books before moving on to his next class.

Soon enough it was time for lunch. Blaine considered just going home so he wouldn't have to deal with it, but before he could process the thought Kurt's hand was in his and they were headed for the cafeteria. His eyes scanned the menu board. Pasta was today's special. Kurt would make him eat pasta. All those carbohydrates and a sauce probably filled with refined sugar for extra carbs. They had arranged this beforehand. Whenever Blaine forgot his lunch, he would give Kurt his money and he would buy him the lunch he deemed healthiest. So Blaine did just that and went to sit with the rest of the glee kids.

When Kurt walked over with his tray of doom, he tried hard not to cringe. He knew that this was his best option, and he knew that it was because Kurt cared that he was doing this for him, but even the pile of celery next to it couldn't negate the worry the bowl of pasta was causing him. Kurt was smiling. He obviously didn't realize how Blaine felt about this meal, so he smiled back and ate it. He could do this. He could eat the whole damn bowl, the celery and even drink the 2% milk. He hadn't been paying attention to his friends with his mind so focused on the task at hand, so he was surprised to hear his name.

"You're quiet Blaine. Just nervous for your audition?"

He nodded without looking up, without even taking the time to figure out who had spoken. They continued speaking, but he could feel Kurt's hand resting on his arm, comforting him. It remained there for the rest of the meal, and he managed to eat all his food.

Blaine's afternoon classes passed quickly and he soon found himself making his way to the choir room. He was the last to arrive, and Mr Schuester motioned for him to stand in front of the group. After introducing him, he gave him the floor. Blaine motioned for Artie to join him and began the song. He wasn't quite sure what to do, so he just watched Artie as he began to rap.

_I got a dirty mind  
>I got filthy ways<br>I'm tryna Bath my Ape in your Milky Way  
>I'm a legend, I'm irreverent<br>I be reverand  
>I be so fa-a-ar up, we don't give a f-f-f-f<br>Welcome to the danger zone  
>Step into the fantasy<br>You are not invited to the otherside of sanity  
>They calling me an alien<br>A big headed astronaut  
>Maybe it's because your boy Yeezy get ass a lot<em>

Blaine took over, looking straight over at Kurt as he sang:

_You're from a whole other world_

_A different dimension  
>You open my eyes<br>And I'm ready to go  
>Lead me into the light<em>

_Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me  
>Infect me with your love and<br>Fill me with your poison_

_Take me, ta-ta-take me  
>Wanna be a victim<br>Ready for abduction_

_Boy, you're an alien  
>Your touch so foreign<br>It's supernatural  
>Extraterrestrial<em>

_You're so supersonic_

_Wanna feel your powers  
>Stun me with your lasers<br>Your kiss is cosmic  
>Every move is magic<em>

_You're from a whole other world_

_A different dimension  
>You open my eyes<br>And I'm ready to go  
>Lead me into the light<em>

_Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me  
>Infect me with your love and<br>Fill me with your poison_

_Take me, ta-ta-take me  
>Wanna be a victim<br>Ready for abduction_

_Boy, you're an alien  
>Your touch so foreign<br>It's supernatural  
>Extraterrestrial<em>

Kurt was blushing terribly, but seemed to enjoy for once being the recipient of one of Blaine's more inappropriate serenades. He grinned at him and let Artie take over.

_I know a bar out in Mars  
>Where they driving spaceships instead of cars<br>Cop a Prada spacesuit about the stars  
>Getting stupid ass straight out the jar<br>Pockets on Shrek, Rockets on deck  
>Tell me what's next, alien sex<br>I'ma disrobe you, than I'mma probe you  
>See I abducted you, so I tell ya what to do<br>I tell ya what to do, what to do, what to do_

Artie had been directing his rap at the audience at large, so Blaine felt a little awkward with how single minded—or rather _Kurt minded—_his focus was, but not enough to stop him from grabbing his boyfriend from his seat and bringing him up to sing the next chorus to him in front of everyone.

_Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me  
>Infect me with your love and<br>Fill me with your poison_

_Take me, ta-ta-take me  
>Wanna be a victim<br>Ready for abduction_

_Boy, you're an alien  
>Your touch so foreign<br>It's supernatural  
>Extraterrestrial<em>

_Extraterrestrial  
>Extraterrestrial<em>

_Boy, you're an alien  
>Your touch so foreign<br>It's supernatural  
>Extraterrestrial <em>

Everyone clapped, and Puck even whistled. Mr Schuester seemed a little put out at his song choice, but he smiled and began his speech about sectionals. Kurt took Blaine's hand and pulled him back to the seats he had saved them earlier. Then he whispered to him about plans to practice a duet in case of second annual duets competition. Blaine was fine until Kurt mentioned costumes. That brought him back to the morning, to the nervousness, the insecurity, and all the confidence the performance had given him melted away.

When he got home he could practically feel the empty calories turning to fat. He could almost feel the fat seeping through his skin. He wasn't supposed to feel this way. He wasn't supposed to feel so self conscious. He was supposed to have _courage _dammit! But Blaine couldn't help it. His gorgeous boyfriend deserved the Blaine he had first agreed to date, not this one. Not the one who couldn't even fit into his stupid pants. It was that thought that carried him to the upstairs bathroom, that thought that made the bile rise, that thought that brought up the corners of his mouth as he wiped it clean. It took seconds for the guilt to set in, and then he reached for his phone.

When Kurt arrived, Blaine was still sitting on the bathroom floor, leaning against the counter. Just as he had the last time he found him, he flushed the toilet and washed his forehead.

"What happened baby?"

Blaine didn't meet Kurt's eyes.

"This morning my pants didn't fit, and so it happened, and then that food at lunch, and so it happened again."

"What was so important about the pants?"

"They were the pants I wore that day at the coffee shop, when you got back from New York."

"What does that—Blaine, are you saying—Did you think I wouldn't still love you if you couldn't fit into those pants?"

Kurt knew him way too well. He looked at the floor even more anxiously before nodding.

"Blaine, oh honey, I didn't realize."

He assumed that he meant that he didn't realize his boyfriend was so vain, so he was confused when Kurt continued:

"Have I ever told you all the reasons I love you?"

He shook his head.

"I am a terrible boyfriend. Blaine Anderson, I love so many things about you. I love your smile, I love your curls, I love the way you smell, I love your voice, I love when we sing together, I love your epic dance moves, I love how compassionate you are, I love the way you love me, and I love that you reached out to me for help when you needed it. And Blaine, I love you whether you fit into the damn jeans or not."

"I love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I'm pretty sure it's actually done now. Pretty sure. I hope you enjoyed reading it!**

**Thank you to everyone who reads this and again to Gina for letting me harass her.**

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><p>Blaine had been doing rather well since the pants incident. He had been eating regular meals, each accompanied by a text from Kurt, telling him he loved him no matter what. At first it had seemed slightly patronizing, but after he got used to them he started to look forward to each one. His therapy sessions had been going well. They were almost back to the way they had been before his confession. The only real difference was a few questions about his eating habits and about his parents. School was good too. His classes were just as easy as the first day had brought him to assume, and he had more time to spend with Kurt due to the lack of homework.<p>

One thing bothered him. Last year, Blaine hadn't been there when New Directions had explored their insecurities through the power of Lady Gaga. If he had, he knew that at that point he would have donned a "Likes Boys" shirt identical to Kurt's. Now he was better, stronger, and he wanted people to know; he wanted to tell them. He may not have been born with an eating disorder, but it was something about himself that he had come to terms with, sort of.

So two weeks into the semester he wore a sweater over his white t-shirt, to stay zipped up all the way all day. Not even Kurt would know of his plan. He had his food packed, so he didn't need to worry about a cafeteria lunch. When he arrived at the choir room, he and Kurt took their usual seats. After the entirety of New Directions had settled themselves, Blaine raised his hand.

"Mr Shuester, I had something I'd like to share with everyone."

The teacher stepped aside, and Blaine took his place in front of the club.

"I know that last year, you guys all made shirts talking about your insecurities; things you had come to terms with. I thought that maybe, I could do the same now. I wasn't exactly born this way, but..."

He smiled at his rather confused boyfriend before unzipping his sweater and revealing the large black lettering on his shirt. Santana scowled, and Mr Shue addressed her.

"Did you have something to say Santana?"

"Who cares if Frodo over here skips some meals or up chucks them or whatever? We all do it sometimes. What's the big deal?"

He knew he should have stayed, defended himself, explained, but he didn't, he couldn't. Because this was worse than he could have imagined. It was worse than any teasing that he'd ever dealt with; worse than being sent to the fucking hospital by those stupid gay bashers after the dance. He thought Santana was his friend, and she didn't understand. He didn't get far before he collapsed, just sank to the floor in the empty hallway.

Blaine didn't know until later that Kurt had started shouting at Santana the moment he had left the choir room. He didn't know that he had explained his abandonment issues, his body image issues, his worst fears, and most of all, how much confidence he thought it took for Blaine to tell everyone. He didn't know any of that, so he was surprised when it was Brittany—not Kurt—that chased after him.

"San didn't mean what she said. I think she's just mad you took her idea for when she tells everyone she's Lebanese."

Blaine looked up at the pretty blonde standing above him. She must have sensed his confusion, as she went on to explain herself.

"That she likes girls."

"Brittany, I don't think... Never mind."

He decided not to try to explain the difference between being Lebanese and being a lesbian to her. That was one thing he had learned in their friendship so far: if you don't have a fair bit of patience and time on your hands, you shouldn't try to teach Brittany anything. He was surprised, but no less glad to see Mike Chang walking toward them. He kneeled down next to him and rubbed his shoulder. They had known each other a bit before Blaine had integrated with the McKinley crowd, as the Asian community in their area was quite close knit, but they had rarely spoken. Even now, they didn't really speak, Mike just offered him a drive home and he nodded. They drove in silence.

At some point during the quiet ride, Blaine made a decision. He resolved to stop eating whenever his boyfriend wasn't around. He knew it would be easier to just break up with him, but he knew he couldn't, he depended too much on him. So he would eat lunch every day and eat dinner whenever he was at Kurt's or Kurt was at his place. He knew it would be harder to keep it a secret now that everyone knew, especially when he started losing weight, but it was worth it. He could almost feel the familiar light-headedness at the thought of his plan and he relished it.

He convinced himself that it wasn't just acting out, trying to prove to the naysayers the legitimacy of his condition. The reason then? He assumed everyone would avoid him after his confession. Maybe not Brittany, but she just didn't understand. Mike had probably just driven him home because he knew that was what his mother would have wanted him to do. Even Kurt might not stay with him if the rest of the glee club ignored him. So he would need his hunger again, he reasoned with himself, to deal with the isolation.

It was almost an hour before Kurt arrived at his door. He used his key, the one he had given him the day he had told him everything. The key he had used the first day of school, the key Blaine constantly forgot he had. So when Kurt casually walked through Blaine's open bedroom door, he fell off his bed, where he had been curled up in the fetal position.

"Sorry to scare you, and sorry I took so long."

Blaine didn't really want Kurt there, but did nothing to stop him and simply clambered back onto his bed. His boyfriend sat next to him and reached down to take off his shoes. He then leaned back and cuddled into Blaine's side.

"Brittany told me Mike drove you home."

"Yeah, our mothers are pretty close, so he probably just did it to please them."

"I'm not so sure. He seemed pretty upset, if the dirty look he gave Santana on his way out was any indication."

"What happened? After I left, I mean."

Kurt told him the story.

"I hope you don't mind that I told them."

"No, I don't. Actually I'm glad you did. I don't think I would have been able to. You really called Santana a 'merciless, vapid bitch that can't even own up to her own feelings' though?"

"Not my proudest moment. I think the only reason Mr Shuester didn't get me in trouble was because I was protecting you. You know he doesn't know how to take control when things get out of hand."

"So they all think I'm a freak now?"

"Of course they don't Blaine. In fact, a lot of them wanted to come with me to talk to you, but I told them to wait."

They probably just wanted the chance to insult him to his face, but he didn't point that out to Kurt. So he just started to run his fingers through Kurt's hair. Normally, this was forbidden, so Blaine took advantage of the free pass offered by him mental instability. They cuddled for a while before Kurt made them dinner: garden salad with low fat dressing. He ate it all and he and Kurt said their goodbyes for the night.

The next day at school he didn't see any of his fellow glee club members, even the ones in his classes. Kurt had told him to find his own way to school, perhaps in kinder words. Blaine had still intended on going through with his plan, but maybe if Kurt wasn't around he wouldn't need to eat the lunch he had packed. Maybe he would even get to point where he felt dizzy. Of course it wasn't as good as a single touch, much less a kiss from Kurt, it would do. He was nearly to the library when the boy who sat next to him in English caught sight of him. He dragged him to the cafeteria and Blaine was forced to eat with him and his friends. It frustrated him, but he could start that night.

The choir room door was shut, but a note on it read "Glee Club rehearsal to be held in the auditorium". He knew needed to at least go through the motions until Kurt dumped him, so he slowly made his way there. The lights were off but for the one by the stage, and the curtains were closed. Mr Shuester sat in the front row. Blaine took the seat next to him and looked over at him in confusion.

"After hearing your story yesterday Blaine, your fellow glee clubbers wanted to say something to you."

The curtains opened to reveal Kurt on stage wearing his 'Likes Boys' shirt. The rest of the club stood behind him wearing their own, Puck and Sam with guitars covering theirs.

"Hi Blaine! This was actually Mike's idea, so could someone forcibly bring him over here?"

Mike stepped forward on his own, hands up in surrender, and moved to stand beside Kurt.

"After yesterday, I, we, thought you might need some support. So I, your self-declared new Asian Best Friend, set this up. I know these shirts don't all mean as much as yours did, and for a lot of us, wearing them doesn't make us near as brave as you. But enjoy."

And with that, they both moved back into place and began to sing. No solos, no arguments; just many voices as one, all for him.

_What would you think if I sang out of tune__  
><em>_Would you stand up and walk out on me__  
><em>_Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song__  
><em>_And I'll try not to sing out of key_

_Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends__  
><em>_Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends__  
><em>_Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends_

_What do I do when my love is away__  
><em>_Does it worry you to be alone?__  
><em>_How do I feel by the end of the day__  
><em>_Are you sad because you're on your own_

_No, I get by with a little help from my friends__  
><em>_Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends__  
><em>_Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends_

_Do you need anybody__  
><em>_I need somebody to love__  
><em>_Could it be anybody__  
><em>_I want somebody to love_

_Would you believe in a love at first sight__  
><em>_Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time__  
><em>_What do you see when you turn out the light__  
><em>_I can't tell you but I know it's mine_

_Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends__  
><em>_Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends__  
><em>_Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends_

_Do you need anybody__  
><em>_I just need someone to love__  
><em>_Could it be anybody__  
><em>_I want somebody to love_

_Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends__  
><em>_Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends__  
><em>_Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends__  
><em>_Yes I get by with a little help from my friends__  
><em>_With a little help from my friends_

As he discreetly wiped away his tears he made a mental note to tell Wes he had been replaced. Yes, Mike Chang was definitely his new "Asian Best Friend". He climbed up on the stage and gave him a huge hug. A whispered 'thank you' in Mike's ear required Blaine to be on his tiptoes and to stretch his neck a little weirdly, but it was well worth it. When he finally let go, he saw Kurt tapping his foot in mock annoyance, with his arms out for a hug. After everyone else gave him a hug, which he hadn't expected at all, they sat down on the stage to talk. Mr. Shuester started the conversation.

"Blaine, I know you may not want to, but it's my responsibility as your teacher, are you seeing someone about this?"

Kurt was quick to cut in.

"Mr Shuester, with all due respect—"

"It's okay Kurt, yes sir, I've been seeing a therapist for the past couple of years, and she knows about my condition."

"So you just, didn't eat unless your parents were home?"

This time it was Finn that spoke. Kurt looked once again ready to jump in, but Blaine stopped him again.

"For the most part, yes."

"How didn't you like, die?"

"The average human can go up to three weeks without food as long as they stay properly hydrated, but my parents were around more often than that. I think the longest I ever went without food was a week."

"But you're eating now, right?"

Rachel seemed to have just stopped herself from adding something like 'we can't have you passing out on stage at sectionals', but the concern was evident on her face.

"Yes Rachel, three meals a day, each approved by my boyfriend/dietician."

"He would eat celery for all those meals without me. I make sure he has balance."

The group chuckled uncomfortably, but the joke did lighten the mood a bit. Blaine continued to answer questions for a while, and he realized it felt as good to share all this with his friends as it had been when he told Kurt and his therapist. It felt nice not to keep secrets. But then Tina asked the one question he had not wanted to hear.

"Do your parents know?"

"No they don't."

There was a moment's silence before Quinn spoke up.

"Then why do you have a therapist."

"You don't have to tell them dear, if you don't want to."

"No, I want to."

He used the exact words had had used to tell Kurt. The others' reactions were audible, and by the end his eyes were on his sneakers, and both Kurt and Mike had an arm around him. It was harder than talking about his eating disorder. That was a choice. Being beaten up was different. Saying the words, no matter how vague the ones he chose were, almost made him feel the pain; the collision of fist and skull, of foot and ribcage. As soon as he closed his eyes, he could hear the footsteps of his attackers moving toward him. No, wait, those were real. He felt himself engulfed in the world's most awkward group hug, awkward simply due to the fact that half its participants were sitting and half were standing. In that moment, Blaine knew that as long as he had these people in his life, he could get though anything.


End file.
